In Loving Memory
Amanda Hrasar BorylaCary, NC Parents: Siblings: |
October 15, 1985 – November 17, 2005
Amanda was born on October 15, 1985, the
first of four children. She was my only child for 11 years, so in essence, we grew up together. She was bright, energetic, always
laughing, and full of life.She was limitless in her
creativity and imagination. From her first
smile, to her first steps,
I was always there, trying to keep her safe. I
remember the day we
taught her how to ride
her first bicycle. “Look
mommy, no training
wheels!” I watched and
my heart raced. She was
growing up so fast and
I was new at learning to
let go, just a little.
A few years
passed by and soon she
was in middle school.
Amanda was social,
happy and always curious. She tried out for the
school play and won a solo part. She was so proud
of herself and so were we! “Look mommy, look
at me! Do you think I can make it to Hollywood?”
Oh, my heart and head swelled and yes, of course
she could do anything she put her mind and heart
into. I would be right there, supporting her, loving
her and learning to let go, just a little.
Time quickly slipped by and the High
School years were now upon us. Amanda had
grown into a beautiful young woman who was
bright, intelligent, funny, and extremely witty.
She had long, curly dark blonde hair and the most
amazing soulful blue eyes. Her heart was filled
with kindness and sincerity and she had a true
love for animals. She
was an excellent Marksman in ROTC, fluent
in Spanish, a tutor in
Algebra, and she was
well versed in several
computer programs.
Still, lying beneath
the surface, were many
more limitless gifts and
talents. Unfortunately,
somehow Amanda was
never completely aware
of her abilities or of her
inner and outer beauty.
She battled with her
lack of confidence and
low self esteem. Soon
she was diagnosed as
Bipolar and with Borderline Personality Disorder.
Now it was “Mom, look at me, I’m a failure.” How
my heart would break as her mother, watching her
efforts and seeing her struggle to become independent and to do everything on her own. I remained
ever supportive, trying, watching, waiting, crying
and learning I still had to let go, just a little.
The days would come and go as Amanda
moved out to be on her on and then moved back
Amanda Danielle Boryla
Died Age 20
HeroinRemembering Lost Promise
home in a most valiant effort to be the independent
young woman that we all knew her to be. She
enrolled in college and was in her freshman year,
studying to be a Veterinarian Technician. She was
incredibly smart, making all A’s, working part-time,
staying up late, socializing with friends, and just
being a young adult. “Mom, look at me, I can do
this, I really can!” Curfews were a thing of the past
at 20 years of age, so here I was again, learning that
I had to let go, just a little.
It was at this point in her life that Amanda,
surpris ingly and unknowingly to us, had succumbed to the drug war. At 3:00am, November 17,
2005 I found my daughter on the bathroom floor as
I cried and begged her to wake up. The needle was
still lying on the floor and the hair band she used as
her tourniquet was twisted ever so tightly around
her wrist. Her hand jerked in mine, but I was to
never see her smile, hear her voice or feel her hugs,
ever again. Her soulful eyes had now dimmed and
stared right through me. No more hopes and no
more dreams for Amanda. My heart and soul was
ripped out of my body. I had not kept her safe. Oh,
I can never let go, not even just a little.
November 17, 2005 was the night our lives
changed forever. It was the night Amanda died
from a Heroin overdose. How quickly life changes
in the blink of an eye. One minute she and I were
laughing, joking and holding bunnies and the next
I am picking out a beautiful white casket with brass
roses for my daughter. Roses, Amanda loved roses,
yet she will not see another one bloom. So many
things were left unsaid, left undone, or left behind.
Lucas and Zackary, her brothers, and McKenna,
her sister, miss her so very much, a step-dad who
loves her and a broken-hearted mother who cries
daily because she misses her so much it physically
hurts. Amanda left a lifetime void that will never be
filled. I have learned the true meaning of never and
forever.
We have suffered a loss so great and so unimaginable and sometimes the grief is just unbearable.
The loss of such a beautiful life, long before her
time, before her youth, before her light was to shine
ever so bright and before her promise of life, love
and happiness could ever be completely fulfilled.
A beautiful young life ended because of the demon called addiction; and a future stolen by a thief
called Heroin. The poisons and perils of drugs
have no boundaries and no limits, as we have seen
first hand.
Yet, while we have lost one child, there is still hope
and potential for our other children through education and learning from this personal experience of
losing our loved one in the battle against drugs.
There is no shame in this fight. We won’t give up
and our family will find the ways and the courage
to speak out and to speak up about the dangers of
drugs, not only for ourselves, but maybe we can
save just one family from this great tragedy and
they won’t have to let go of a loved one, not even just a little…
Dee Boryla-Lett
Mom of a beautiful angel, Amanda
Candles
I miss you so much. Love you always, my beautiful Angel |
I miss you so very much baby girl. I love you with all my heart. |
I still think of you often. |
I miss you so very much. I love you.....more than you will ever know....xo xo |
– From Anonymous on April 19, 2013 |
– From Anonymous on March 9, 2013 |
I miss you today just as much as yesterday. I love you....love, mommy |